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27.11.08

Zelja i strah....

Objavljeno na Generalna | 08:56

 

       Neke stvari bih rado izbegla, ali se one dese. Eto tako, same od sebe. Cak se trudim i da ne mislim o tome.

       Ali, misli su neposlusne... van moje kontrole... Dodju nezvane, smeju se pakosno, placu preglasno... i mrve... mrve i to malo sto se mojim imenom jos uvek zove.

       Retko izlazim, ne pricam sa ljudima, radim i druzim se sa kompom... tj. Vama. Spolja, u realnost, ne smem. Plasim se videcu nesto.... Ne, nemam snage za to!

       A opet... ponekad, sasvim nesvesno odem.. i nadam se... Ustvari, jako zelim...! Zelja i strah pomesani... U korak me prate, zveckaju potpetiicama prkosa... Prkose jedno drugom! Strah dominira, prestize zelju, saplice je, cupa... grebe... sve dok je ne savlada. Dok je ne ubedi da njena jacina nije dovoljna da ga pobedi. Dok je ne ubedi da nije dovoljna sama sebi... Da zavisi od drugih... Da i drugi moraju krenuti ka njoj... Da moraju zajedno pobediti strah...

       I tako se zelja u suzama, vrati svom sivilu, samoci... i mrzi strah... O, kako ga samo mrzi, dok joj se on prkosno smeje svestan svoje nadmoci... Svestan njene samoce... Svestan svega! I jak... Prokleto jak...!

       Jos jedan prazan dan....

       Jos jedna neispunjena zelja....

       Jos jedna pobeda straha....

409 Komentari | "Zelja i strah...." »

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